At 41.1, I had an appointment
in Anniston. All looked good, but we decided to do an NST and AFI just to be
sure. I asked Dr. J if I could go to my acupuncture appointment before going to
the hospital for my NST and AFI. He said that was fine, so we went for
acupuncture. That was interesting. It didn't hurt but felt really strange.
Britt and I laughed a lot while I was trying to stay still with the tiny
needles all over my body.
After my acupuncture, we went over to the
hospital for the NST and AFI. When the ultrasound technician was doing my AFI I
asked her if my fluid was lower than 3. Of course she wouldn't tell me,
but I could tell by the look on her face that it was pretty low. After a while, when the nurse didn't come back into discharge us, I started getting worried. I
could tell that we probably weren't going home that night. When I saw Dr. J’s shoes
come in under the curtain, I knew we weren't going home. I asked him how low my fluid was, and he told me 1.6. Very low. I had planned on asking for IV
fluids and a little more time. But after learning that it was 1.6, I knew that
wasn't a good idea. We also talked about how the baby may not even tolerate an induction since her fluid was so low. We decided to proceed with a CST
(contraction stress test) to see how she would tolerate Pitocin. Of course, I
was crying and very upset. I felt like I was on the exact same train as Lucy's
birth—an induction for low fluid at 41.1. I was worried it would end in the
exact same way.
I called my doula, Carla, and she and her family packed up
and headed to Anniston from Tuscaloosa.
We started the contraction stress test around
7:15. Dr. J said that it could take a few hours to work. We wanted my
contractions about two minutes apart and lasting a minute before we could make
a true judgment. Around 9:00, my contractions
were long enough and close enough together to say that Laurel Cate looked good
on the monitor, and we would proceed with an induction. We turned off the
pitocin and waited for Dr. J to come put in a foley bulb to dilate my cervix.
He came around 10:45 to
insert the foley. He told me it would take anywhere from 4-8 hours to work.
Having the foley in was not painful, but pretty uncomfortable, and I was afraid
to move around much. Even though the pitocin was off, I was still contracting
every 2-3 minutes and was breathing through each contraction.
Carla arrived
around 11:45, and I was so happy to see her. I felt like I needed to get
up and go to the bathroom, but was really afraid the foley would hurt when I
stood up. After some convincing, I got out of bed. While I was in the bathroom
the foley fell out—less than 2 hours after he inserted it. The nurse came in
while I was sobbing in the bathroom because I just knew he had done it wrong
(nice vote of confidence in him, huh?!). She and Carla talked me into getting
back in bed for the nurse to check me.
Y’all, I was 4cm. I know this doesn't
seem like a big deal, but for me it was a huge hurdle since the farthest I had
ever gotten with Lucy was 3.5 cm.
With a revived spirit, I labored on the ball and
around the room for a few hours. Britt and Carla both tried to help me through
contractions by pressing on my hips or back. But I surprised myself and really
didn’t want much touching in labor. After awhile, I decided to get back into
bed and rest. I told Carla to go to help her family settle in at the hotel.
Around 3 am, I had been resting awhile when the
nurse said that my contractions had spaced out too far, and we should think
about turning the pit back on. Pitocin sucks. It just does. After a little
while on the pitocin, I decided I wanted an epidural. I was 5cm and was really
frustrated since I felt trapped by the monitors and couldn't find a good
position to cope. I have to give so much credit to my sweet nurse and husband
who tried so hard to convince me I didn't need the epidural. But I think I may
have dropped the f-bomb a few times, and then they knew I was serious.
I got an epidural around 5:30 am and rested. It
was good. Naps are good.
Early that morning baby was having some
variables in her heart rate that were making the nurses a little antsy. Since I
had just taken my OB semester if nursing school, I got sucked into the monitors
and trying to figure out whether they were late decels or just variables. Carla
covered the monitoring screen with a towel and rolled it away. My nurse
reminded me that it was her job to read the monitors and not mine. I got some
O2 via face mask and we turned the Pitocin off.
Dr. J came in around 7am and
suggested we do an amnio infusion to give the baby a little more cushion of
fluid since hers was so depleted. But to do that, we'd have to break my water,
so we decided to wait to let baby come down a little more. He came back about
two hours later (9am) and we discovered my water had broken on its own, I was
6cm, and baby had moved farther down. I was so excited. I'm pretty sure I cried
tears of joy. I was 6. And my water broke on its own. This was happening!!! So
very different from how I had planned it. But so good!
Laurel Cate was much happier after the amnio
infusion and was able to tolerate the Pitocin again. The next time we checked
was around 11am and I was 7cm. We decided to go ahead and text my birth photographer, Lauryn to give her a heads up. We also called my mom and told her to get
Lucy from school and drive up. I had been at inductions where moms were 7cm for
12 hours—so I really still didn’t expect baby to come until late that evening
or early next morning.
A few hours later, the nurse checked me again, and I was 9. Nine people. I mean, I really think I cried every time they told
me I was closer.
Then came a wave of nausea
and I vomited all of the small bites I had been sneaking the past 15 hours.
Gross. It was everywhere. Carla cut my sports bra off. And Britt helped clean me
up. Someone let my nurse know I was sick, and I think we all had a good feeling
that it meant I was 10 cm. Sure enough.
While I was waiting to do some "practice
pushing" with the nurse, a wave of worry came over me. I had been staring
at the shoulder dystocia protocol that was taped to the monitor cart right next
to my bed. I told Carla I was afraid it would happen. I also told her that I was
thinking of two births where the mamas made it to 10cm and pushed for hours
only to still need a c section. She helped reassure me and to think positively.
Around 3:45, after just one practice push with
my nurse, she told me to stop and that baby was really close, and she was
calling Dr. J to come. While we waited, I just pressed down a little with each
contraction because it was the only way I could tolerate the hot spot that my
epidural wasn't covering.
Dr. J arrived close to 4pm, and I started pushing.
I don't remember much. I remember fussing at Britt for making a scary face and
the clicking of the camera over my right shoulder. I remember that the nurse
wanted me to start pushing at the very start of each contraction, but I felt
like I needed to push more at the end. I decided it was more effective for me
to just push when I felt it instead of when the monitors started picking it up.
I'm grateful for the hot spot, because it helped me direct and be more
effective with my pushing.
Just 15 minutes later, Laurel Cate was born. Britt cut her cord—something he didn’t get to do with Lucy. They put her squishy little self on my chest and covered us with blankets. There really are just no words for how wonderful that felt. It felt like 5 years of feelings and emotions all crashing over me at once. Lots of tears.
I needed sutures--and Dr. J wisely told me he didn't know how many I had, but that it was a 2nd degree tear. But what a difference in recovery compared to my c-section. Within an hour I was sitting up, not groggy, and snuggling my baby. I took a shower a few hours later. I felt SO good.
Lucy and Mom arrived about 6:30. I hadn't called
them after she was born, because I didn't want them rushing. Or feeling sad
they missed it. I wanted to see their reactions in person, not tell them over
the phone. I’m so glad Lauryn, my birth photographer stayed to capture their
faces. What precious memories I have saved forever.
A few days later, people were congratulating me
for "rocking my VBAC". But, really, what I know, is that birth is not
a merit system. There's no perfect formula or things you can check off a list
(oh did I try!) that guarantees the birth you want. There’s no magic number of
pelvic tilts you can do. I had a VBAC because of God's mercy on my heart and
because of His never-ending grace and faithfulness. There are just too many uncontrollables for
us to think that we have the final say.
I'm not saying that there are
things you should just give up on. I still think a healthy diet is important. I
think seeing my chiropractor weekly was very helpful. And I think finding a
supportive OB/other care provider and birth team is invaluable. I'm SO grateful
that God brought Nancy, Carla and Dr. Johannson into my life 3 years ago. God
is good.
My birth is also a wonderful
example of how medical interventions used judiciously in the right hands can
really help us. I feel like my birth was a real-life review of my OB class in
nursing school. We used lots of them. And I’m totally ok with that. I won’t go
into my next birth asking to be induced; but if the need arises, that’s ok too.
I'm so thankful for both of my births and the
experience and knowledge I'll be able to carry into my work as a doula and OB
nurse (almost there!).
If you're still reading, you deserve an ice
cream. Or a glass of wine. But really, I hope that it will be encouraging to
anyone birthing or planning a VBAC. Trust Him with your birth--however it
unfolds.
